Tag Archives: writer

Dear John Letter

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Dear Nanowrimo (http://nanowrimo.org),

You came into my life and put a smile on my face at a time in my life when all I could see was blank pages.

You have given me a confidence I never thought I would have.

For the reasons above, I find it very difficult to do this.  I think we need to spend some time apart.

This does not mean that I do not care about you.  We have had a good run of it you and I.

The past eight years have not gone to waste.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I just don’t need you this year.

Love always,

The Failing Novelist

PS.  Maybe next year we can get together, if the timing is right.

12 Step Program for Writer’s

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(Borrowed and tweaked from A.A. 12 step program)

Writing is a constant process, not one that you finish after the 12th step.

Step 1 – Admit you are powerless over your need to write and that your life will become unmanageable if you do not write.

Step 2 – Come to believe that a power greater than yourself drives you to write.

Step 3 – Make a decision to turn your will over to the desire to write.

Step 4 – Make a searching and fearless inventory of what keeps you from writing.

Step 5 – Admitted to yourselves that you are a writer therefore, you must write.

Step 6 – Accept your good and bad traits of being a writer.

Step 7 – Accept your shortcomings as a writer and strive to improve in those areas.

Step 8 – Make a list of all people you have annoyed with all our talk of writing.

Step 9  – Apologize to those people you have annoyed, especially the friends and family members that support you in your writing.

Step 10 – Continue to watch your writing habits and patterns and continue to strive to be a better writer.

Step 11 – Continue to strive towards your goals as a writer.

Step 12 – Whether you write once a day or once a month, remember you are a writer, heart and soul.

The writer’s 12 step program has helped many writers face their annoying writing habits and have helped them to “shut up already” and write.

I’ve read it, read it, not read it, read it…

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It is a sad state of affairs when you go to the book store, walk over to the “how to write a book” reference section and discover you have read most of the books in the section.

Can you guess one of my favorite forms of procrastination?

If Only I Had…

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If only I had a pen with good smooth movement, I would write my novel faster.

If only I had a fancy notebook, I would create more novel ideas and scenes.

If only I have a one of those tiny laptops, I would carry it in my bag and work on my novel when ever the mood struck me.

If only I had a writing area, a creative space all my own , I would be inspired and the novel would just flow out with ease.

If only I had enough money to get rid of my day job, I would work on my novel non-stop and finish it at last.

If only I won the lottery…

Until then… I have a hotel pen, a half used notebook my kids didn’t need, a laptop that crashes, a kitchen table with sticky spots and a few minutes to write after the work day is done and the kids are in bed.

“If I only I had…”

But the truth is I already have everything I need, including the relentless drive to write.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll buy a lottery ticket…just for good measure.

Moving at the Speed of Snail

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Writing is easy once I get going.  I can sit down and spit out five pages of a rough draft scene in nothing flat…super sonic speed even…

And then it happens…I slam smack into the editing wall of death.

Tweak a little here, tweak a little there, fix a description here, correct a  character flaw there.  How much can you spend editing a scene or chapter?  Hours, days, lifetimes….it’s never finished. NEVER!

Spousal Abuse

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Carolyn See wrote a book on writing called, “Making the literary life”.

Chapter one…”Keep it to yourself”. She goes on to explain, as much as your friends and family love you, they really don’t want to hear all about the great American novel you intend to write, the plot of this book, the fascinating characters you have created and the torments of being a writer.

I would just like to say, “Where were you 10 years ago Ms. See, when I had the great idea to write a novel?”  It’s too late now!

I have been torturing my friends, family and especially my poor spouse for years and years now. I have drug my family through the tortures of 5 incomplete novel, several unenthusiastic attempts at article writing and countless attempts at writing different genres that crashed and burned in the early stages.

I can see the wear and tear on all the people that are exposed to my writing dreams day in and day out.  When I swear this is the year, I get a smile, a pat on the shoulders and a, “Yes, I bet you will finish this year for sure.”  But behind the weak smile I see it, the thought of, “Yes good gracious finish a novel already, because I can’t take another year of talking about a book I’ll never get to read and hearing all about the lives of made up characters that have nothing to do with me.

So yes Ms. See, your book is  a little late to the party, where were you when I had this hair brain scheme to be a writer..hmmm?

12 Steps to a Hero’s Journey

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12 Steps of a Hero’s Journey – A basic formula for movies and novels, created by Joseph Campbell.

I re-worded it for my fun and enjoyment.

1. Our poor unsuspecting character is living his life, minding his own business, unaware that a writer is about to put him through some really awful crap.

2. This is where the fun begins, our poor unsuspecting character gets forced out of his boring little life and thrown out on to the street. (metaphorically speaking)

3. But our poor guy likes his life and he puts up fight to keep everything as it was.  Even if his life sucks, it’s still his life and he doesn’t like being messed with.

4. He meets someone smarter than him that convinces him that this new adventure is better than his boring crappy life.

5. Character now either agrees or gets shoved into the adventure anyway, because it’s going to happen whether he likes it or not. After all, no ones wants to read an entire novel about a guy who sits around and does nothing.

6. Things start to happen now and the character gets drug through the mud, getting hit with challenges left and right. He is getting beaten up but he starts to feel like he knows what he is doing. The character now see the “big test” in front of him and he prepares for it.

7. Character finds people to help him, as everyone needs a little help.

8. Now that we are about half way through the story, our character must face his greatest challenge. (Ha, like he will get off that easy.)

9. The character and his allies win the big battle!  (Yippee, let’s celebrate.)

10. Now he feels he has his happily ever after and he starts to head home.  (Not so fast my naïve character, you’re not getting off that easy.)

11. But just when he thinks he has won, he is hit the face with the real battle, facing his greatest fear.  He must face it and he will because the writer is going to make him.  This is where our character is truly changed as a person and will never be the same.

12. The hero has now survived all the horrible catastrophes that the writer could think of and heads home to bask in the glow of his “Happily Ever After”.

The End.

Happily Naked After

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Romance Novel Outline – Attempt #2 (Erotica)

-Girl is not looking for love

-Girl bumps into man on street and immediately does not like him

-Boy likes her and begins to pursues her relentlessly

-He is creepy but girl overlooks since he is good looking

-Boy finds way of trapping her in his arms

-She looks deep into his eyes…it is love at first sight

–umm…then some stuff happens. (blush)

-Girl really likes boy

-How many ways can you describe a body part?

-Not sure how to describe that?

 -Oh, I can’t say that… (giggle, giggle)

–No way am I going to say that! 

 What if my mother were to read this?

Oh my goodness… Let’s just burn this one.

Happily Ever After

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Romance Novel Outline – Attempt #1

Let me see, it should go something like this…

-Girl is looking for love

-Girls is walking down the street one sunny day, trips and accidentally falls into the arms of a tall, dark and handsome stranger on the street

-She thinks he is a totally hottie and thinks this must be love at first sight

-They go on a few dates and she thinks he is perfect… despite his extensive criminal record

-Time passes and they live happily ever after

-Until…  one day she dies in a freak lawn mower accident and he tells police, he has no idea what happened.

 

Hmmm…maybe I should back to my other novel.

Habit Forming

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According to books on creating a habit (I believe “7 habits of highly effective people” is one of the them), a habit is created in 21 days, if done every day.

So to create a writing habit I should write every day, whether it’s 1,000 words added to my novel, morning pages (as mentioned in the book-“The Artist’s Way”) or a  blog post and if I do it every day it will become a habit.

It should be easy, right? (hahaha…ok… hahahah… wait…hahahaha)

I mean it’s not like trying to develop a habit of exercising or eating healthy after all!

Writing is something I love to do, it should be super easy, right?