Creating a Fictional Killer…

Who? What? When? Where? Why? These must be answered in creating a fictional killer.

Who… did they kill? Your killer is going to have to have to kill someone, no matter how much you like the victim.

What… happened? This is the main question your readers and characters will be trying to figure out most the book, hopefully at least you know… I mean really someone has to know ahead of time.

When… did the murder take place? Late into the night when only the crazy people are out? Or maybe the middle of the day while her husband was at work, or was it… “A dark and stormy night…”

Where… did it happen? Where did the murder occur? In a toy store, in a brothel or maybe in a shower, everyone loves a good shower scene.

And Why… Why did this person have to die? Was it for a lame reason like the killer wanted her pencil back, vengeance for a unforgiveable crime that had gone unpunished, or just pure madness.

With these questions answered, now rub your hands together maniacally and say “Mwah haa haa… Mwah hahaha”

Write What You Know…

It is a popular belief that as an unpublished or new writer, you should “write what you know”.

But for some of us living the non-typical writer life of fun wholesome living (okay, wholesome is a stretch) this may not be as simple.

I can write about accounting (my day job), which as you can guess would interest absolutely nobody or maybe a small group of number nerds.

I could write about being a mom, but with kids like mine, it is rare to find some excitement other than a lose tooth or a disappointing “B” on a test (and believe me I’m not complaining).

But just as everyone does, I have secrets in my closet. So I open up the closet and push away the cobwebs.
It is filled with events in my life, that feel like a lifetime ago. It feels so distant, like it happened to someone else.

I climb in and dig around the junk looking for a nugget of something that could create an amazing novel. A novel that a reader wouldn’t be able to put down until the last page had been read.

There are a patchwork of things, I pull them out and lay them on the floor and then shuffle them around.

Maybe, just maybe I can weave them together like a quilt more fiction than not.

Genre Indecision

So it is time to begin again. Time to get back on the horse and write, write, write…

So which genre should I try this time?

I had a lot of fun writing about a nine year old boy being flushed down a toilet into another world, but I want to try something new.

I could write a Mystery full of twists and turns and drag some poor unfortunate down a path of horrid events only to have him “save the day” at the last minute.

OR, write about an awkward teen distraught by love and social angst. Ooh…not sure I want to re-live my youth.

OR, write about a torrid love affair between two people, but they are torn apart due to dysfunction and stupidity. But love will conquer all and they will live happily ever after… Hahahaha, maybe I should write the story about what happens after the “happily ever after part”; kids, dogs, house, mortgage, chaos, etc.

OR, maybe a drama? Take an unsuspecting character and drag her through a bunch of horrible events until she has a mental breakdown and takes her revenge, but then emerges from the ashes a stronger better person despite being wanted by the FBI.

Decisions, decisions, decision…

Professional Procrastinator

It’s time to start a new writing project or maybe go back to an old one… either way it’s time to start writing again.
Ok, get ready… get set.. wait I really should clean the refrigerator out, something smells really bad in there.
Ok, let’s try again…get ready… get set…wait wait…I need to do my tax return.
Hmm… ready… set… oh yeah gotta clip the dogs toe nails.
Oh and I really should clean out my garage… you know spring is coming and I need to find that badminton set.
Ok, now I’m really ready… wait there is something else I was supposed to do…
what was that…

New Love

Sending out Query letters is a lot like the excitement of a new love.

You send out query letters with a mixture of hope, giddiness and doubt. You spend time trying to make it as perfect as possible, then you get to a point and quickly hit the send button before you change your mind.
Then you refuse to admit to anyone but you obsessively check your email. Is there a response yet? How about now? How about now? Hope fills your heart, “this could be the one!”

Then it appears! The response to your query. You pause before you open it, hopeful and excited but prepared for the worse.
Then the standard letter begins and you feel your heart sink. You tell yourself, “it’s not me, it’s them.” But you’re not really convinced. You stare at the email another moment and then file it away. With a big sigh you pick your ego off the floor and start researching who will be the next.

For every rejection letter received, send out another query. For every hope dashed a new hope is created.

Internal Critique vs. The Failing Novelist (Round 1)

Failing Novelist:I keep working at my writing and it’s getting better

Internal Critique: Uh…if you say so

Failing Novelist:One day I will get published, I just need to keep hacking away at it

Internal Critique:Don’t give up your day job

Failing Novelist:Hey, that chapter turned out pretty good

Internal Critique:It sucks, you sucks, just give up

Failing Novelist: Keep it down I’m trying to write.

Definition of a “Query Letter”

A few short paragraphs to explain in perfect detail, the novel that you have put your heart and soul into for months, years and maybe even decades.

A one page letter in which all your hopes and dreams are crammed into just a few short paragraphs. 

A one page letter that you will spend countless hours creating and torturing yourself over every single word, in hopes of getting it absolutely perfect.

A letter that, odds are, you will receive a standard rejection letter for. 

A rejection letter that was probably written in under five minutes.

New Year’s Resolution

It’s that time of year again.
A time of new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams and new goals.

What will be my goals for the year…
Exercise more?
Eat healthier?
Do better at keeping the house clean and tidy?

As much as I enjoy getting up at 5:15am every morning to start my day with torturous exercise and a unsatisfying piece of fruit, it will be the writing goals that will extract me from my warm bed each morning.

I am still working on the writing goals I am willing to admit to and commit to paper, but I do know one thing for sure… This is going to be a great year!

Psst…wanna hear a secret?

Do you wanna know my biggest fear?  My biggest scariest fear?

It’s to find out that I’m not meant to be a writer., but instead,  meant to do my “day job”.

I’m meant to be…(gasp) an accountant.  NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!

Dear John Letter

Dear Nanowrimo (http://nanowrimo.org),

You came into my life and put a smile on my face at a time in my life when all I could see was blank pages.

You have given me a confidence I never thought I would have.

For the reasons above, I find it very difficult to do this.  I think we need to spend some time apart.

This does not mean that I do not care about you.  We have had a good run of it you and I.

The past eight years have not gone to waste.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I just don’t need you this year.

Love always,

The Failing Novelist

PS.  Maybe next year we can get together, if the timing is right.