Creating a Fictional Killer…

Who? What? When? Where? Why? These must be answered in creating a fictional killer.

Who… did they kill? Your killer is going to have to have to kill someone, no matter how much you like the victim.

What… happened? This is the main question your readers and characters will be trying to figure out most the book, hopefully at least you know… I mean really someone has to know ahead of time.

When… did the murder take place? Late into the night when only the crazy people are out? Or maybe the middle of the day while her husband was at work, or was it… “A dark and stormy night…”

Where… did it happen? Where did the murder occur? In a toy store, in a brothel or maybe in a shower, everyone loves a good shower scene.

And Why… Why did this person have to die? Was it for a lame reason like the killer wanted her pencil back, vengeance for a unforgiveable crime that had gone unpunished, or just pure madness.

With these questions answered, now rub your hands together maniacally and say “Mwah haa haa… Mwah hahaha”

Write What You Know…

It is a popular belief that as an unpublished or new writer, you should “write what you know”.

But for some of us living the non-typical writer life of fun wholesome living (okay, wholesome is a stretch) this may not be as simple.

I can write about accounting (my day job), which as you can guess would interest absolutely nobody or maybe a small group of number nerds.

I could write about being a mom, but with kids like mine, it is rare to find some excitement other than a lose tooth or a disappointing “B” on a test (and believe me I’m not complaining).

But just as everyone does, I have secrets in my closet. So I open up the closet and push away the cobwebs.
It is filled with events in my life, that feel like a lifetime ago. It feels so distant, like it happened to someone else.

I climb in and dig around the junk looking for a nugget of something that could create an amazing novel. A novel that a reader wouldn’t be able to put down until the last page had been read.

There are a patchwork of things, I pull them out and lay them on the floor and then shuffle them around.

Maybe, just maybe I can weave them together like a quilt more fiction than not.

Professional Procrastinator

It’s time to start a new writing project or maybe go back to an old one… either way it’s time to start writing again.
Ok, get ready… get set.. wait I really should clean the refrigerator out, something smells really bad in there.
Ok, let’s try again…get ready… get set…wait wait…I need to do my tax return.
Hmm… ready… set… oh yeah gotta clip the dogs toe nails.
Oh and I really should clean out my garage… you know spring is coming and I need to find that badminton set.
Ok, now I’m really ready… wait there is something else I was supposed to do…
what was that…

Burps, Boogers and Farts

Things I’m learning while writing a boy chapter book:

  1. It is not as easy as it looks
  2. According to my 11 year old son, “Mom” life lessons cannot be included
  3. Locate sense of humor (it’s around here somewhere)
  4. Make a list of kid sayings, helps if one lives with you.  Take good notes
    1. “booger leakage” – when you have a runny nose that doesn’t stop even when you try to suck it back up
  5. Practice burping and farting and think about how it can be applied to the story
  6. If you are not having fun writing it… odds are the reader won’t have fun reading it
  7. Write things that make you laugh like a kid
  8. Practice burping and farting again… just for fun

The Huldufólk Are Coming…

My husband is half Icelandic and there is a folktale about the Huldufólk. There are many versions of this folktale but his family’s version goes something like this…

At the start of a new year, you must clear the clutter from your home.
If you don’t… then the Huldufólk will come for you.
They will tie you to the bed and steal your stuff.

Sounds like a good reason to me to get de-cluttered and organized, starting with my very un-organized writing files.
Was this the last version of that short story or is this one?
Where did that article go on the 12 points of a hero’s journey?
Why am I still holding on to this ten year old first draft of the worst novel ever written?

But I expect the first victim will be my son. He may have his XBOX stolen from Icelandic Elves soon if he doesn’t pick up his room.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulduf%C3%B3lk

Dear John Letter

Dear Nanowrimo (http://nanowrimo.org),

You came into my life and put a smile on my face at a time in my life when all I could see was blank pages.

You have given me a confidence I never thought I would have.

For the reasons above, I find it very difficult to do this.  I think we need to spend some time apart.

This does not mean that I do not care about you.  We have had a good run of it you and I.

The past eight years have not gone to waste.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I just don’t need you this year.

Love always,

The Failing Novelist

PS.  Maybe next year we can get together, if the timing is right.

12 Step Program for Writer’s

(Borrowed and tweaked from A.A. 12 step program)

Writing is a constant process, not one that you finish after the 12th step.

Step 1 – Admit you are powerless over your need to write and that your life will become unmanageable if you do not write.

Step 2 – Come to believe that a power greater than yourself drives you to write.

Step 3 – Make a decision to turn your will over to the desire to write.

Step 4 – Make a searching and fearless inventory of what keeps you from writing.

Step 5 – Admitted to yourselves that you are a writer therefore, you must write.

Step 6 – Accept your good and bad traits of being a writer.

Step 7 – Accept your shortcomings as a writer and strive to improve in those areas.

Step 8 – Make a list of all people you have annoyed with all our talk of writing.

Step 9  – Apologize to those people you have annoyed, especially the friends and family members that support you in your writing.

Step 10 – Continue to watch your writing habits and patterns and continue to strive to be a better writer.

Step 11 – Continue to strive towards your goals as a writer.

Step 12 – Whether you write once a day or once a month, remember you are a writer, heart and soul.

The writer’s 12 step program has helped many writers face their annoying writing habits and have helped them to “shut up already” and write.

I’ve read it, read it, not read it, read it…

It is a sad state of affairs when you go to the book store, walk over to the “how to write a book” reference section and discover you have read most of the books in the section.

Can you guess one of my favorite forms of procrastination?

If Only I Had…

If only I had a pen with good smooth movement, I would write my novel faster.

If only I had a fancy notebook, I would create more novel ideas and scenes.

If only I have a one of those tiny laptops, I would carry it in my bag and work on my novel when ever the mood struck me.

If only I had a writing area, a creative space all my own , I would be inspired and the novel would just flow out with ease.

If only I had enough money to get rid of my day job, I would work on my novel non-stop and finish it at last.

If only I won the lottery…

Until then… I have a hotel pen, a half used notebook my kids didn’t need, a laptop that crashes, a kitchen table with sticky spots and a few minutes to write after the work day is done and the kids are in bed.

“If I only I had…”

But the truth is I already have everything I need, including the relentless drive to write.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll buy a lottery ticket…just for good measure.