Creating a Fictional Killer…

Who? What? When? Where? Why? These must be answered in creating a fictional killer.

Who… did they kill? Your killer is going to have to have to kill someone, no matter how much you like the victim.

What… happened? This is the main question your readers and characters will be trying to figure out most the book, hopefully at least you know… I mean really someone has to know ahead of time.

When… did the murder take place? Late into the night when only the crazy people are out? Or maybe the middle of the day while her husband was at work, or was it… “A dark and stormy night…”

Where… did it happen? Where did the murder occur? In a toy store, in a brothel or maybe in a shower, everyone loves a good shower scene.

And Why… Why did this person have to die? Was it for a lame reason like the killer wanted her pencil back, vengeance for a unforgiveable crime that had gone unpunished, or just pure madness.

With these questions answered, now rub your hands together maniacally and say “Mwah haa haa… Mwah hahaha”

Write What You Know…

It is a popular belief that as an unpublished or new writer, you should “write what you know”.

But for some of us living the non-typical writer life of fun wholesome living (okay, wholesome is a stretch) this may not be as simple.

I can write about accounting (my day job), which as you can guess would interest absolutely nobody or maybe a small group of number nerds.

I could write about being a mom, but with kids like mine, it is rare to find some excitement other than a lose tooth or a disappointing “B” on a test (and believe me I’m not complaining).

But just as everyone does, I have secrets in my closet. So I open up the closet and push away the cobwebs.
It is filled with events in my life, that feel like a lifetime ago. It feels so distant, like it happened to someone else.

I climb in and dig around the junk looking for a nugget of something that could create an amazing novel. A novel that a reader wouldn’t be able to put down until the last page had been read.

There are a patchwork of things, I pull them out and lay them on the floor and then shuffle them around.

Maybe, just maybe I can weave them together like a quilt more fiction than not.

Genre Indecision

So it is time to begin again. Time to get back on the horse and write, write, write…

So which genre should I try this time?

I had a lot of fun writing about a nine year old boy being flushed down a toilet into another world, but I want to try something new.

I could write a Mystery full of twists and turns and drag some poor unfortunate down a path of horrid events only to have him “save the day” at the last minute.

OR, write about an awkward teen distraught by love and social angst. Ooh…not sure I want to re-live my youth.

OR, write about a torrid love affair between two people, but they are torn apart due to dysfunction and stupidity. But love will conquer all and they will live happily ever after… Hahahaha, maybe I should write the story about what happens after the “happily ever after part”; kids, dogs, house, mortgage, chaos, etc.

OR, maybe a drama? Take an unsuspecting character and drag her through a bunch of horrible events until she has a mental breakdown and takes her revenge, but then emerges from the ashes a stronger better person despite being wanted by the FBI.

Decisions, decisions, decision…

Internal Critique vs. The Failing Novelist (Round 1)

Failing Novelist:I keep working at my writing and it’s getting better

Internal Critique: Uh…if you say so

Failing Novelist:One day I will get published, I just need to keep hacking away at it

Internal Critique:Don’t give up your day job

Failing Novelist:Hey, that chapter turned out pretty good

Internal Critique:It sucks, you sucks, just give up

Failing Novelist: Keep it down I’m trying to write.

Burps, Boogers and Farts

Things I’m learning while writing a boy chapter book:

  1. It is not as easy as it looks
  2. According to my 11 year old son, “Mom” life lessons cannot be included
  3. Locate sense of humor (it’s around here somewhere)
  4. Make a list of kid sayings, helps if one lives with you.  Take good notes
    1. “booger leakage” – when you have a runny nose that doesn’t stop even when you try to suck it back up
  5. Practice burping and farting and think about how it can be applied to the story
  6. If you are not having fun writing it… odds are the reader won’t have fun reading it
  7. Write things that make you laugh like a kid
  8. Practice burping and farting again… just for fun

The Huldufólk Are Coming…

My husband is half Icelandic and there is a folktale about the Huldufólk. There are many versions of this folktale but his family’s version goes something like this…

At the start of a new year, you must clear the clutter from your home.
If you don’t… then the Huldufólk will come for you.
They will tie you to the bed and steal your stuff.

Sounds like a good reason to me to get de-cluttered and organized, starting with my very un-organized writing files.
Was this the last version of that short story or is this one?
Where did that article go on the 12 points of a hero’s journey?
Why am I still holding on to this ten year old first draft of the worst novel ever written?

But I expect the first victim will be my son. He may have his XBOX stolen from Icelandic Elves soon if he doesn’t pick up his room.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulduf%C3%B3lk

New Year’s Resolution

It’s that time of year again.
A time of new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams and new goals.

What will be my goals for the year…
Exercise more?
Eat healthier?
Do better at keeping the house clean and tidy?

As much as I enjoy getting up at 5:15am every morning to start my day with torturous exercise and a unsatisfying piece of fruit, it will be the writing goals that will extract me from my warm bed each morning.

I am still working on the writing goals I am willing to admit to and commit to paper, but I do know one thing for sure… This is going to be a great year!

Psst…wanna hear a secret?

Do you wanna know my biggest fear?  My biggest scariest fear?

It’s to find out that I’m not meant to be a writer., but instead,  meant to do my “day job”.

I’m meant to be…(gasp) an accountant.  NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!

Dear John Letter

Dear Nanowrimo (http://nanowrimo.org),

You came into my life and put a smile on my face at a time in my life when all I could see was blank pages.

You have given me a confidence I never thought I would have.

For the reasons above, I find it very difficult to do this.  I think we need to spend some time apart.

This does not mean that I do not care about you.  We have had a good run of it you and I.

The past eight years have not gone to waste.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I just don’t need you this year.

Love always,

The Failing Novelist

PS.  Maybe next year we can get together, if the timing is right.

12 Step Program for Writer’s

(Borrowed and tweaked from A.A. 12 step program)

Writing is a constant process, not one that you finish after the 12th step.

Step 1 – Admit you are powerless over your need to write and that your life will become unmanageable if you do not write.

Step 2 – Come to believe that a power greater than yourself drives you to write.

Step 3 – Make a decision to turn your will over to the desire to write.

Step 4 – Make a searching and fearless inventory of what keeps you from writing.

Step 5 – Admitted to yourselves that you are a writer therefore, you must write.

Step 6 – Accept your good and bad traits of being a writer.

Step 7 – Accept your shortcomings as a writer and strive to improve in those areas.

Step 8 – Make a list of all people you have annoyed with all our talk of writing.

Step 9  – Apologize to those people you have annoyed, especially the friends and family members that support you in your writing.

Step 10 – Continue to watch your writing habits and patterns and continue to strive to be a better writer.

Step 11 – Continue to strive towards your goals as a writer.

Step 12 – Whether you write once a day or once a month, remember you are a writer, heart and soul.

The writer’s 12 step program has helped many writers face their annoying writing habits and have helped them to “shut up already” and write.