There is a Troll on my Shoulder

So I have this troll that lives on my shoulder. He likes to tell me things like;
You are the worst writer ever
You should get a real hobby
Why are you wasting time on this crap
You should just give up now
You should be spending time on things you actually are good at
Why aren’t you spending more time with your family

But recently, a new creature, a writing elf, has started to perch on the other shoulder.
He says things like;
I like that dialogue
I think that scene is going too fast, you should add more to it
Okay, now that’s a funny line
That paragraph doesn’t sound right, I think with a little tweaking, it could be better

I like having the little writing elf around, he’s funny, supportive and helpful.

The troll is still sitting on the other shoulder and he still talks loud and often, but I’m hoping over time, if I ignore him long enough, maybe he will get bored and wander off.

Professional Procrastinator

It’s time to start a new writing project or maybe go back to an old one… either way it’s time to start writing again.
Ok, get ready… get set.. wait I really should clean the refrigerator out, something smells really bad in there.
Ok, let’s try again…get ready… get set…wait wait…I need to do my tax return.
Hmm… ready… set… oh yeah gotta clip the dogs toe nails.
Oh and I really should clean out my garage… you know spring is coming and I need to find that badminton set.
Ok, now I’m really ready… wait there is something else I was supposed to do…
what was that…

I’ve read it, read it, not read it, read it…

It is a sad state of affairs when you go to the book store, walk over to the “how to write a book” reference section and discover you have read most of the books in the section.

Can you guess one of my favorite forms of procrastination?

If Only I Had…

If only I had a pen with good smooth movement, I would write my novel faster.

If only I had a fancy notebook, I would create more novel ideas and scenes.

If only I have a one of those tiny laptops, I would carry it in my bag and work on my novel when ever the mood struck me.

If only I had a writing area, a creative space all my own , I would be inspired and the novel would just flow out with ease.

If only I had enough money to get rid of my day job, I would work on my novel non-stop and finish it at last.

If only I won the lottery…

Until then… I have a hotel pen, a half used notebook my kids didn’t need, a laptop that crashes, a kitchen table with sticky spots and a few minutes to write after the work day is done and the kids are in bed.

“If I only I had…”

But the truth is I already have everything I need, including the relentless drive to write.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll buy a lottery ticket…just for good measure.

No One Writes Love Letters Anymore

Carolyn See’s fabulous book “Making a Literary Life”, discusses the joy of writing a letter to someone you admire.  I like the idea of this and I picture myself sitting in an old style writing desk picking up a pen to share my praise.

Ummm….huh…let’s see here.  There have been so many books I have enjoyed and so many writers I like.  Which one should I write to first?  As I hold the pen in ready position, my hand begins to cramp.  Maybe email would be better.  I pull out my laptop and turn it on….waiting…waiting. Ok, ready I open a new email and stare at the empty page.

Well I need to do some research to find someone to write to.  I begin an intensive search looking for a author who is worthy of the time it will take to write this letter.  Oh, this author has a nice website.

I should start my own author website for when I become a published writer.  I wonder what I should include in it.  I pull out of piece of paper and start mapping out what my website would look like and what I would include.  I start searching for website templates, formats and hosting options.

My husband sticks his head around the corner, how is your author letter coming along?  I look at the web page up on my computer “How to build a website” and sigh.

I click back to the email page that stands there empty and alone.  I begin my search again for an author and pause as I try to think of the name of that writer that wrote that book about that “thing” and that “place”, what was it called again. In attempt to figure out the name of the book I end up on a website discussing the history of Indiana.  I start thinking of a new novel idea using a character from Indiana.

I stop myself half way through the plotting of a whole new novel, shake my head and go back to the empty email.  I stare at it.  My mind is as blank as the page.  It was then I realized procrastination as abducted me once again!

I close the empty email page and open up my novel.  With a heavy sigh, I begin writing  the next scene.

http://www.amazon.com/Making-Literary-Life-Carolyn-See/dp/0345440463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372024694&sr=8-1&keywords=carolyn+see

Why Did You Stop?

–          You’ve stopped again.  You stopped writing  mid-scene and you haven’t moved forward, not even a sentence in over two weeks.

–          Well… I’m stuck.

–          Stuck?  You know exactly what is supposed to be written in this scene, how are you stuck?

–          I don’t know…I’m just stuck.

–          How hard is it?  Stand up,  walk over to your computer, it’s already turned on and everything, sit in front of it and just start typing.  Type just a page, a paragraph, even just a sentence.

–          No… I don’t want to.

–          UGH!  Why, what is the problem?

–          I don’t know…I’m just stuck.

–          Fine!  Be stuck, but I know you’ll be back.  You’re a writer and you can’t fight the “need to write” for long.

Yes, I Have Commitment Issues

My name is Nicolle and I have severe commitmentitis.

It’s true..  I admit it…  I have commitment issues.

They say on average it takes ten years to write your first novel. I am in this VERY LARGE group of writers that dream of the finished novel, but I have sailed over the ten year mark and have no novel to speak of. Each year I spout, “This is the year I am going to finish my novel”  My friends and family smile kindly each time and provide positive support, but I see the look in their eyes, I see into their doubting souls.  And then things come up, life goes on and another year passes me by.

I can commit to my marriage, to my children and even my day job with ease and grace, but when it comes to making a commitment to myself…crash and burn.

Committing to “me” is my biggest challenge.  Committing to my novel.

A novel that has morphed, changed, revised, been tossed away, reorganized , forgotten and started again.  Nothing ever finished.  Nothing but a pile of unfinished, uncommitted effort. (big sigh)

But the writer in me is never satisfied, always that little voice gnawing at me and pushing me forward.

I have been a writer for a lifetime, but I WILL BE A NOVELIST.